While I am all of these things, my mind will not shut off and so it is that I am sitting at my computer typing away at 2:15 in the morning. Utter ridiculousness. Thank heavens for spell check at this time of time night.
As the process for treatment creeps ever closer I find myself running my poor body into the ground to try and keep up with all that my "normal" days entail. I enjoy taking Grant to play at friend's houses, while I laugh with his friend's mothers. I enjoy swimming, shopping, cleaning (?), and keeping my world running. I find it exciting to cheer Coach and his crazy band of football players on every Friday night. I just wish I could come to terms with the fact that while I'm doing all of these things, there is an entity attacking my body and literally sucking the life out of it. Lame.
Please read me right when I say, that I am in no way helpless or defeated.
I'm just pooped and don't know when to quit and take a nap. I think this is a symptom of womanhood/motherhood/estrogen. We all think we can just go and go and go and finally when we can't go anymore physically, our brains take over and WHAMMO....no rest. Perhaps it's just having one element of your life that you can't dictate or control that makes our minds go into overdrive.
I'm certain that when I finally do get to sleep tonight/today I will wake up in the morning and wonder why I even posted this. I did promise to be honest. And this is where I'm at right now. Too pooped to party, but I can't stop the music and the beat is making me shake my bon-bon. Happy dreams and rest filled nights! ~Kami
1 comment:
I have totally been here! So frustrating when you desperately need the rest and your brain won't shut off. Wishing you a very recharging Sabbath and a good night's sleep tonight!
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