Thursday, September 6, 2012

Hope, Faith & T-Shirts

I am able to hold my head up.  I stopped shrinking from checking my mail.  I now check it every day for two simples reason:

1. My sister & friends send super hilarious/uplifting cards in the mail which make me giggle and smile. A lot.

2. I have the greatest support network in the WORLD and never realized it until now.

It has been one month since I learned that I have cancer.  One month since I was sitting in the doctor's office, knees apart, feet in stirrups, looking at the ceiling while my world fell apart.  One month since I drove home with a billion thoughts racing through my mind which boiled down to two ideas: how do I tell my family & how are we going to afford treatment?  One month since I contemplated my worth in dollars.  One month since I cried with my husband over something that couldn't be changed, or controlled.  One month since I fell apart.

One month.

photo courtesy of: billyboardsmfg.com

In that month I have been the recipient of so many wonderful moments in time.  Each one of them have built me back up, increased my faith, lifted my hopes, and raised my awareness of all the good that is in this world.  I have had friends give me all that they had, because they said that they would.  I have had strangers contribute to a cause without even knowing who I am.  I have had relatives shout out a rally cry and the world has responded.  Because of these moments I cry a lot more, but they are tears of joy.

The latest of this moments came in an email last week.  In the email was this:

Graphic courtesy of Melissa Blasi & Co.

A graphic that summed up what my friend thought of me.  A graphic that has become my bat signal.  And YOU have responded to the beacon.  The boxing gloves are for fighters.  The diamonds are for Coach, who is my rock.  The butterflies are for each of children who lift me up and give me hope.  The guitars are because if you heard the voice in my head you would know that internally I am decked out in sequins and rocking out to my own rhythm.  The teal and white ribbon is for cervical cancer awareness.  The graphic is for hope.

The woman who put forth the ideas for this t-shirt graphic and then handed them over to her genius friend, has given a voice to all my thoughts and then painted a picture with them.  Melissa has always had that ability though.  Her photographs are stunning.  Her party ideas amazing.  She has a way of seeing the world with an eye that I've come to trust implicitly and respect.  I'm not surprised that this is just as wonderful.

What I am, however, is shocked and amazed at the number of people willing to put this symbol on their bodies and wear them on my behalf.  I mean, yes the t-shirts are fabulous! But to wear them because it helps me? Whoa. Friends from childhood, high school, college, multiple moves.....friends from every stage of my life.  Family who have known me since conception & loved me.  

I realize that this is getting to be a GRATITUDE BLOG, rather than documenting my journey through this crazy maze, but maybe that's the point after all.  To live, to fight, to be thankful, to pay it forward.

I asked my Dad the other day how I could ever repay this kind of generosity and love and his response was, "Kami.  You don't.  You say 'Thank you,' and you do all you can.  Then, when you're given the opportunity to help others, you help them like you have been helped.  That's all you can do."

Please know, wherever you are, whatever you're going through: if you need me, I will get to you.  You've changed my life & my family's lives in ways that I never thought possible.  ~ Kami

No comments: