Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Wednesday's Biopsy of Joy

What does a metal duck and mustard have in common? I am so glad you asked!

I was introduced to their symbiotic relationship on Wednesday when I was called in for an additional biopsy. (Woohoo!!) Okay, it's a lie.  I wasn't excited.  In fact I had been with so many people over the past two days that I tried every which way I could to be able to attend this appointment solita (by myself). Nikki jumped in and offered to watch Grant, and soon I was flying down the road in my Silver Bullet, alone but not lonely.

When I entered Dr. G's domain I was greeted again by a wonderful staff, who all knew my name.  They all chatted with me for a bit, before I was taken back by the medical assistant 'A'.  When I was prepped and fully disrobed, from the waist down; I waited.  It was nice to wait.  I got to check out my surroundings.  The room was quiet, the music was Johnny Cash, and I was at peace.  I perched on the end of the table, because I'm not a fan of the bum slide to edge, and just happened to be sitting upon a lovely Chucks Pad.  Yes, my life is glamorous.  To my right was a lovely dark wooded bureau and in front of that sat the prepped biopsy tray.

This when things got a little weird.  On the tray I saw things that I had seen before.  The magical mascara wand, the duck:
(Vaginal Speculum: Medium)

and a funny little jar (which is typically used for urine samples) filled with a mustard-like substance.  Oh boy!! My mind instantly went to potato salad.  No, I don't know why.  I didn't pick the jar up, but gazed at it for a moment more before I saw the doozy tool.  It was the large, shiny, biopsy tool that would be shoved to my tonsils and used to take two samples of the remarkable mass.

I didn't wait long enough.  They are very prompt.  Dr. G came in, followed by 'A' who was then followed by another woman.  Dr. G introduced her as a certified midwife that worked at the clinic.  She was very calm and soft spoken, but extremely personable.  He said that she was his beta blocker.  I guess the mass freaks him out a bit.  I didn't realize this from our first time hanging out.  He handled it like a champ back then.  I guess he had time to think about it from Monday to Wednesday.  Dr. G also informed me that he would like her to do a pelvic exam following the biopsy so that Midwife 'E' could have the opportunity to check for the mass and it's surrounding awesomeness.  At this point, my bum is on the edge of the table, my feet in the stirrups and what can I say? So I said what anyone would, "Nice to meet you.  Have at it."

The insertion of the duck was not pleasant, mostly because it never is.  When that part of the pre-party was over it was time to rock and roll.  The duck was so painful at this point that I didn't even feel them insert the biopsy tool and take samples from 12 o' clock and 9 o' clock.  Didn't feel a thing.  Even commented on how this was less painful than when I had an crazy episiotomy stitch buckle and it had to be cauterized up there.  What can I say?  I am a party everywhere I go!

This is where the mustard came in.

Apparently 'A' had mixed me up a delightful batch of this mustard substance to be crammed into the area.  This substance would aid in stopping the bleeding from the biopsy sites.  I called her what any good patient would in this situation, "Betty Crotcher."  Nope, I didn't make that one up.  I give full credit to my sister-in-law Emily.  'A' was very pleased with this wonderful concoction and it was anchors away and into the "site region."

The great part about this is that when the mustard has done it's job, it is released, or discharged if you will as a black-sometimes crumbly like substance.  I'm very glad they warned me in advance, because for a week, it's been leaking out.  Thank heavens for tampons and pads.....cause I would have ruined many a undy as well as jeans.

The biopsy was sent to the labs to be evaluated, per the request of the oncologist they would be referring me to.  In the meantime the results on the Monday labs and Tuesday MRI were in:

Bad news first:
Each sample taken showed the presence of squamous carcinoma (cancer).  It's not the worst cancer you can get, but it is cancer all the same.

The mass was golf ball size and had completely engulfed my cervix, and 1/3 of my girlie parts.  It was also killing the tissue surrounding it (which is why things smell like death in that area).

A radical hysterectomy is in my future.  This upset me because I was not 100% sure I was done having kids yet.  Also possible chemo and radiation treatments.

Good news:
Cervical cancer is survivable.  This is not a death sentence.

The mass had not metastasized. This means it has not spread to other areas of my body.  It had also not breached the rectal area.  Thank goodness!!

Dr. G, based on the size and test results put a guess at the staging at III.  So, I do have Stage III Cervical Cancer.  Yes I do.  But I don't plan on having it for long and when I'm done with it all......look out! I will then be a force to be reckoned with.

There has been black goodness and bleeding from the biopsy site, but otherwise I am in good health.  Dr. G is now sending my case file to a friend of his who happens to be a Gynecological Oncologist to take care of official staging and a treatment plan.

Today, I'm not afraid.  Today, I am hopeful.  Today, I am still me; and still a bit of a ROCK STAR!!


QUACK! QUACK!! ~ Kami

1 comment:

Danielle Brush Lewis said...

You are ALWAYS A ROCK STAR! Love you and proud of you for putting your boots on and getting to work!